To be or not to be

Is it better to have been adopted, given some opportunities with the trade off being physical, emotional, psychological, and spiritual abuse... then not to be adopted at all?


Is it worth it?

So, what

So what?
Great question.
So what if my life sucks so bad?
So what if your life is better/worse?
So what is this all for, what are we living for, what does it mean? Does it have to mean anything or are we just a transitory visitor for a brief time?
So what is the meaning, the purpose, the reason, the goal, the beginning, the raison d'etre for all this?

Not to be a downer, cuz this has been one hell of a ride, but, man, is this all there is?

Wacky Wednesday Dec 8

A short note.
I am beginning to not like this Christmas season very much.  So much pain in so many places and all this surreal consumerism and capitalism to buy, buy, buy.... for what?
Most people aren't any happier on Dec 26th.  So what's all this fuss?

The small kernel of hope and reason seems to be to remind us that Christ is the reason for the season.

Happy Holidays everybody, and Merry Christmas.

Monday December 6

Man, why does it not get better?  I think I've been a good guy, mostly.  Given what I had and started with, I honestly think that I did OK overall.  Kept my sanity and self control for the most part growing up in a caustic and adversarial adopted home.  Went to college and by the Grace of God I did finish and graduated into a 20 year career in the Navy.  Went through a marriage that should never have happened but was a good learning experience.  Married again into a drama filled second marriage, but did get three beautiful children.  


So, what the heck am I supposed to do now that I'm 62, nearly broke, alone "again, naturally" for the most part?  What?  Where am I going?  I look ahead to what 5, 10 more years of struggle and fighting to make ends meet?  Whom am I doing this for?  I would really like to have some good reasons for continuing this fight, this endless string of dead ends and cliffs.  


What do you need to be happy?  What is the real meaning of life?  Family? Friends? Country? Wealth? The big 5: Fame, Fortune, Power, Knowledge, Sex?  WTF?  Man there are so many reasons to call it quits, to say the hell with it.  I am very tired of this shit.  


How about you?

Monday November 15, 2010

So what did you do today? What roles did you fill?

My life has been a real nasty trial of disappointments, personal disasters, and incredible setbacks. At first I was disheartened, disappointed, discouraged, depressed. Just plain old Down and almost out.

All my plans seem to have been for naught, all my training, education, work, dreams, hopes... all down the drain. Had hopes of rising higher in the navy. Didn't happen. Then I dreamed that I could fly for the airlines. I even got my ATP and did all the right things. Didn't happen. I became a teacher and then pursued being a principal... that got shot down. Now, well, I'm at a point where I really don't know what's ahead.

But, this I've learned. "man makes his plans, but God directs his path." So, now i patiently, hopefully, prayerfully wait on my God to lead me and show me His will....

Not easy, not fun, but I am working on patience and filling my self with Hope built on the gifts of Grace and Faith.

So, how was your day?

Sunday November 14 2010, a beginning

So, in the end, the BIG QUESTIONS come up... after all the tears, all the laughter and time, we come to some basic, fundamental questions.

May I offer this video to you as a beginning point of the answer...

http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/billy_graham_on_technology_faith_and_suffering.html

Link to it and listen to one of the greatest persons talk about the greatest human issues.

Then, follow along as Rick Warren talks about the PURPOSE of Your Life...

http://www.ted.com/talks/rick_warren_on_a_life_of_purpose.html

Well, there you have it... REASON and PURPOSE...
May you live each day well and be fulfilled.

November 13, 2010 Transitions and Thanksgivings

Wish I could have some wishes!  (Are prayers wishes, or a wish list of things we want?)

I'd wish for happiness for my family and friends.
I'd wish for some Justice, a balancing of things in this world.
I'd wish for less poverty and pain and suffering.
I'd wish for less fear and hate, less evil and evil doing.

It is so frustrating to me to see so much inequity and inequality.  Is it really natural for it to be like this, dog eat dog, rich dominating and squeezing the poor, the haves taking advantage of the poor and those in the middle don't give a bit of care about it, as long as they are comfortable?

don't have any answers, been looking for some.  have to just raise my hands in surrender and frustration.
when most of the people on the planet go to bed hungry, when over 20,000 children die of starvation each day, when people are struggling to just each and not be in pain while a few million wallow in obscene wealth... is that the way it has to be?